Last nights episode had some very HIGH points and some very LOW points.
On one hand seeing the nurturing and more connected side of Carol was a relief because we really needed to see her back with the group and feel her relationships with them in a more tangible way. Her humanity was finally allowed to shine and the audience could see her innate protective instincts without them being dimmed by the horrible things she had to do to express them. She didn’t have to kill anyone to show that she cared about the people she killed for.
We saw and heard her trying to take care of the Alexandrian’s We saw that she thought about Sam. We saw that the lives she took to protect still haunted her. We saw her trying to protect Maggie, Denise and even Morgan.
We saw her TRYING – not BROODING or WALLOWING in pity.
I mean we knew all that anyways but for once the show went out if it’s way to show the general audience that too. The argument that Carol is cold, pragmatic, unemotional and unaffected will be a lot harder to sell after “Not Tomorrow Yet”. How long have we been asking for scenes of Carol interacting with the other women? Last night we got Carol and Rosita and Carol and Maggie all at once. She is one of them and that is something I really loved seeing and feeling.
This being the Walking Dead the doom and gloom wasn’t forget even in the lightest moments.
Carol was smiling a LOT but she was also baking a LOT. She went to great lengths and put herself at mortal risk to get what she needed to do that baking.
We know that Carol in the kitchen is NOT a happy Carol. She told Sam that even before the apocalypse she baked to distract herself from sadness and make herself feel better.
TWD Story sync reminded us of that too;
Carol also couldn’t sleep. She was keeping a tally of her ‘sins’ and she was smoking (MMB said that was a manifestation of Carol’s guilt) She was back to keeping secrets that related directly to her banishment and meant to spare Denise and Morgan from the same fate.
The very fact that the intro to this episode didn’t feel like TWD but something completely different tells, you that we are not seeing Carol the real person, we are seeing what Carol thinks she could be if the show wasnt what it is. She’s trying to work things through, burn away the persona she put on as they were on road and and change into what Alexandria needs.
When Rick pulls up and says that they are going to have to fight again, Carol is faced with the fact that she will have to go back out there and put on the mask the group needs from her in a battle. The mask that she is showing Tobin and the rest will need to be put away. The list of the people she’s killed might be even longer when she comes back but she knows there is no choice in the matter for her.
Perhaps the biggest indication that Carol last night wasn’t the real Carol would have to be the words she directed at Maggie; “You are suppose to be someone else” Carol feels that Maggie’s pregnancy changes who Maggie should and needs to be right now. She has masks and identities based on needs directed by the situation and its participants and she fully expects and assumes that others are doing the exact same thing. Except they aren’t or at least not like Carol is.
Carol has sacrificed her whole self by creating masks to be who others need her to be and so that others could live and have a future. Carol isn’t living – not really. She’s supporting other lives by doing what they need from her and not what she needs or wants for herself. It’s the in-between. It’s not Carol’s tomorrow yet.
And that’s why she isn’t going near Daryl anymore.
Daryl was right when he told Jesus that the ‘chef’ wasn’t there to accept his cookie compliments.
