While Penny worries that dating Leonard has ruined her for normal guys, Wolowitz and Koothrappali search for Sheldon’s perfect match online, on the third season finale of THE BIG BANG THEORY, Monday, May 24 (9:31-10:01 PM, ET/PT) on the CBS Television Network.
GUEST CAST:
Leslie Winkle………………………….. Sara Gilbert
Amy Fowler………………………….. Mayim Bialik
Zack…………………………… Brian Thomas Smith
Mrs. Gunderson……………………. Lauri Johnson

STORY BY: Chuck Lorre & Bill Prady & Maria Ferrari
TELEPLAY BY: Lee Aronsohn & Steven Molaro & Steve Holland
DIRECTED BY: Peter Chakos

Totally agree with Raj, that show is brilliant:
Raj: It’s not like that, I’m watching someone’s TV. The Good Wife is on! I’ll tell you, this is my new Greys Anatomy.

Heh, about Penny:
Leonard: Well, it’s still a little weird since you know…
Wolowitz: She dumped you?
Leonard: She didn’t dump me. We were just in different places in the relationship.
Sheldon: I fail to see how a relationship can have the qualities of a geographical location.
Wolowitz: It’s very simple, Leonard was living in a little town called “Please don’t leave me”, while Penny had just moved to the island of “Bye-bye”!

Love Penny’s date! He is so stupid!

Leonard: Let me explain what we are doing here. In 1969 the astronauts on Apollo 11 positioned reflectors on the surface of the moon. And we are going to shoot a laser of one of them and let the light bounce back into this photo multiplier.
Penny: Oh, that’s very cool!
Penny’s date: One question, how can you be sure it can’t blow up?
Leonard: The laser?
Penny’s date: The moon.
Sheldon: See, now this is a man for Penny!

Penny’s date: That’s your big experiment? Have a line on the screen?
Leonard: Yeah, but think about what this represents. The fact that we can do this is the only way of definitively proving that there are manmade objects on the moon! Put there by a species that only 60 years before had just invented the airplane!
Penny’s date: What species is that?!
Sheldon: I was wrong! Penny can do better!

Haha, they are going to find Sheldon a date?

Love Penny, Leonard and Sheldon in the morning after Penny’s drunken mistake!

Love Leonard talking to his neighbor!

Love Raj and Wolowitz trying to convince Sheldon to go on a date!

Love the clothes the characters are wearing in this show, by the way!

Lol, they are the perfect match! I am stunned!

And so are they!
Wolowitz: Good god, what have we done?

Great episode! The Big Bang Theory will be back in the fall, it has been renewed, although no surprise there really!

Leonard tells Penny about how he met Sheldon for the first time…and what happened to the elevator, on THE BIG BANG THEORY, Monday, May 17 (9:31-10:01 PM, ET/PT) on the CBS Television Network.

GUEST CAST:

Mrs. Wolowitz……………………. Carol Ann Susi
Joyce Kim…………………………………. Ally Maki
Sebastian………………………………. Steven Yeun
Louie…………………………………. Ajgie Kirkland
Announcer (v.o.)…………………… Ed Lieberman

STORY BY: Lee Aronsohn & Steven Molaro & Steve Holland
TELEPLAY BY: Chuck Lorre & Dave Goetsch & Maria Ferrari
DIRECTED BY: Mark Cendrowski

Love the hair!

Lol:
Leonard: Excuse me; I’m looking for Sheldon Cooper’s apartment.
Guy: Oh, I bet you’re here to check out the room for rent.
Leonard: Yeah.
Guy: Run away, dude!
Leonard: What?
Guy: Run fast, run far!

Love the guy living in Penny’s apartment.

Love their first encounter!

Love, love the apartment when Sheldon lived there alone!

Love Shelton talking about why he needs to be the only one sitting in his chair.

Love Sheldon’s questions!

Sheldon: This is the bathroom. Are you fairly regular?
Leonard: Uh… I guess.
Sheldon: This isn’t going to work if you’re guessing. When do you evacuate your bowels?
Leonard: When I have to.
Sheldon: When you have to? I’m sorry, I don’t rent to hippies.

Haha!!!

They have a flag? Lol.

Leonard slept with a spy?

Oh my! That is the most hilarious image… ever!

Haha, Leonard has bought their couch:
Sheldon: Explain the couch.
Leonard: There were some people on the first floor moving out and they sold it to me for 100 dollars. Howard and Raj helped me bring it up.
Sheldon: But what’s wrong with the furniture we have?
Leonard: They are lawn chairs. And there was no place for company.
Sheldon: Did it occur to you that was by design?
Leonard: According to the roommate agreement, I’m entitled to allocate 50% of the cubic footage of the common areas.
Sheldon: But you didn’t notify me by email so this is still a breach!

Love Wolowitz’s mom! So funny!

So that’s what happened to the elevator! Sheldon saved Leonard’s life? Loved how he turned their flag upside down!

This was a great, great, great episode! Awesome!

Judy Greer (“Arrested Development,” “13 Going on 30″) Guest Stars As Dr. Elizabeth Plimpton

Leonard and Sheldon compete for the attention of a famous female physicist, on THE BIG BANG THEORY, Monday, May 10 (9:31-10:01 PM, ET/PT) on the CBS Television Network.
GUEST CAST:

Dr. Elizabeth Plimpton………………… Judy Greer

STORY BY: Chuck Lorre & Bill Prady & Lee Aronsohn
TELEPLAY BY: Steven Molaro & Jim Reynolds & Maria Ferrari
DIRECTED BY: Mark Cendrowski

The whole conversation about the new scientist was hilarious!

Leonard: Why didn’t you tell me you knew Elizabeth Plimpton? I am a huge fan of hers.
Sheldon: I didn’t realize I was obligated to share my connection with things you’re a fan of, but very well. You enjoy Canadian bacon; I’ve been to Toronto.

He bought maxi pads and pantyhose to make the scientist feel at home?

Sheldon: A word of warning, my guest is a noted physicist and a leading expert on quantum cosmology so please try to avoid wasting her time with female jibber jabber.
Penny: Female jibber jabber?
Sheldon: Yeah. Shoe sales, hair styles, mud masks, gossip about your friends Brad and Angelina.
Penny: No, they are not my friends.
Sheldon: I’m not surprised considering the way you talk about them behind their backs.

Sheldon: Now, listen; one of the great minds of the 21th century is about to play host to one of the other great minds of the 21th century. So pay attention, years from now my biographer might ask you about this event.
Leonard: Oh, I have so many things to tell your biographer.

It’s Kitty from the best TV series ever; Arrested Development! Say goodbye to these!

Such a cute first encounter between the three of them, so awkward, and so funny!

Sheldon has really prepared for her visit with information papers etc. But Kitty doesn’t seem to mind!

Leonard is so cute around Kitty!

Sheldon peeing was so funny!

So awkward when Penny walked in!

Penny: Hang on! We just broke up.
Leonard: Oh, yeah, you and me, we did, not too long ago. How are you doing with it?
Penny: Not as good as you apparently.
Leonard: I’m sor.. I don’t follow.
Penny: You know what; it’s none of my business if you want to sleep with Sheldon’s doctor buddy right after we stopped seeing each other. Go for it!
Leonard: Well, now…
Sheldon: Excuse me! I’m uncomfortable with you recommending that Leonard pursue having intercourse with Dr. Plimpton. Who I assure you has better things to do.
Penny: I’m not recommending it; I’m saying it already happened.
Sheldon: That’s preposterous! Tell her Leonard!
Leonard: Well…
Sheldon: No!
Leonard: Oh come on! It wasn’t my fault.
Sheldon: The implication being that you somehow tripped and fell into her lady parts?

Lol:
Wolowitz: What the hell are you doing?
Koothrappali: Relax! It’s Nyquil.
Leonard: You still have a cold?
Koothrappali: Maybe, but I don’t care! That’s the great thing about Nyquil; it’s like 10% booze! I call it the “night time sniffling, sneezing, coughing, so you can talk to girls” medicine!

Wolowitz broke up with his girlfriend?

They are going to have a four way with Kitty? Nope!

When Leonard and Penny aren’t speaking, Sheldon goes to extremes to keep them both happy, on THE BIG BANG THEORY, Monday, May 3 (9:31-10:00 PM, ET/PT) on the CBS Television Network.

WRITTEN BY: Chuck Lorre & Bill Prady & Lee Aronsohn & Steven Molaro
DIRECTED BY: Anthony Rich

Haha, what:
Penny: So, how you’ve been?
Sheldon: Well, my existence is a continuum so I have been what I am at each point in the implied time period.

Penny has just bought an Italian food sauce:
Sheldon: That’s the sauce my mother uses. She likes cooking Italian because according to her that’s what the Romans made Jesus eat.

Wolowitz explains what happens after two people brake up:
Wolowitz: The point is, in a situation like this you gotta pick sides. You are either on team Leonard or team Penny.
Sheldon: Which one picks last?
Wolowitz: What?
Sheldon: Usually I’m on the team that picks last. Unless there is a kid in a wheelchair.

Haha!
Sheldon: Go team Leonard!

I don’t know why I thought this was funny, but it really was:
Wolowitz: You said you were going for a walk?
Sheldon: I didn’t say outside.
Wolowitz: So, what, you are just gonna walk up and down the stairs?
Sheldon: No, of course not! That would be odd and suspicious behavior.

Wolowitz on his scooter looked so funny!

Cool tissue dispenser to the left of Raj, on the table!

Raj and Leonard’s conversation was kind of funny!

Sheldon lying throughout the episode was awesome!
Penny: So what’s new in your life?
Sheldon: Well, my new shoes are not made for running.
Penny: Have you been running?
Sheldon: [pause] No. It’s just a suspicion I have.

Sheldon knocks on Leonard’s door in the middle of the night:
Sheldon: [Knocking] Leonard? [Knocking] Leonard? [Knocking] Leonard?
Leonard: Oh, just come in!
Sheldon: Thanks for seeing me on such short notice.
Leonard: What do you want Sheldon?
Sheldon: Maybe this isn’t a good time.
Leonard: Tell me why you woke me up or I swear to god I will kill you.
Sheldon: Do you really think death threats are an appropriate way to begin this conversation? Sometimes your lack of social skills astonishes me.
Leonard: What…do… you… want?
Sheldon: You might wanna sit down.
Leonard: I’m in bed!
Sheldon: Point taken. You may wanna sit up.
Leonard: Sheldon!!!
Sheldon: I have been seeing Penny behind your back.
Leonard: Okay. When you say seeing Penny, what exactly does that mean?
Sheldon: We had dinner last night. She made me spaghetti with little hot dogs cut up in it. Well, little hot dog, I gave up the other five hot dogs to a real dog. A real, big dog. A hell hound. Tangential to the primary story, how about I circle back to it!
Leonard: Fine. Why did you have dinner with Penny?
Sheldon: I told you, she made spaghetti with little hot dogs. I like spaghetti with little hot dogs.
Leonard: Then why did you have Chinese food with us?
Sheldon: I didn’t want to upset you. Howard made it very clear; my allegiance should be to male comrades before women who sell their bodies for money.
Leonard: Is it possible he said ‘bros before hoes’?
Sheldon: Yes, but I rephrased it to avoid defending the hoes.

Love how Penny and Leonard act like divorced parents for Sheldon! That was so funny! Epic!

Koothrappali: Hey do you think the elastic woman in The Incredibles needs to use birth control or can she just be a diaphragm?
Wolowitz: That’s it; we are officially out of things to talk about.

Wil Wheaton (“Star Trek: The Next Generation”) Guest Stars as Himself

A fight between Leonard and Penny threatens their relationship, while Sheldon battles Wil Wheaton in bowling, on THE BIG BANG THEORY, Monday, April 12 (9:31-10:00 PM, ET/PT) on the CBS Television Network.

GUEST CAST:

Stuart………………………………… Kevin Sussman
Wil Wheaton…………………………………. Himself

STORY BY: Chuck Lorre & Steven Molaro & Nicole Lorre & Jessica Ambrosetti
TELEPLAY BY: Bill Prady & Dave Goetsch & Jim Reynolds & Maria Ferrari
DIRECTED BY: Mark Cendrowski

He said he loved her! Naaw! She said thank you? Awkward… awkward!

Haha:
Wolowitz: Hey Leonard, where do you come down on giant ants?
Koothrappali: Sheldon says impossible, Howard and I say not only possible but as a mode of transportation; way cooler than a batmobile.

Funny, I didn’t know that:
Leonard: Seriously, you have nothing better to do than to sit around and discuss the possibility of giant ants?
Wolowitz: What’s with him?
Sheldon: Perhaps he is at a sensitive point in his monthly cycle.
Wolowitz: Are you saying he is manstruating?
Sheldon: Not literally, but as far back as the 1700th century scientists observed a 34 day fluctuation of men’s hormone levels.
Koothrappali: Interesting, that would explain my weepy days in the middle of the month. You know what I am talking about!

Haha:
Wolowitz: Okay, forget giant ants! How about giant rabbits?
Koothrappali: Big or small; I don’t like rabbits, they always look like they are about to say something but they never do.

Nice try Sheldon:
Stuart: You guys still on for bowling tonight?
Sheldon: Oh yes, in fact I have prepared some trash talk for the occasion: You bowl like your mama! Unless of course she bowls well and in which case you bowl nothing like her!
Stuart: Oh… ouch.
Sheldon: That is what is referred to as a ‘burn on you’!

Love them at the comic book store talking about Leonard and Penny. All the guesses of what could be wrong just got weirder and weirder!

Yey!! Wil Wheaton!
Sheldon: Well, well, well if it isn’t Wil Wheaton, the Green Goblin to my Spiderman, the Pope Paul the Fifth to my Galileo, the Internet Explorer to my Firefox!

Wil Wheaton rolls a spare:
Wil Wheaton: Yes!
Sheldon: A common spare. The Miss Congeniality of the bowling pageant. Before you jump on twitter to taut your moderate accomplishment; watch how it’s really done. …I am the ball, my thoughts are its thoughts, its holes are my holes. [He rolls a strike] Yes. Tweet that tweety bird!

Sheldon tries to comfort Penny:
Sheldon[knocking on her door]: Penny! Penny! Penny!
Penny[opens]: What?
Sheldon: This is for you.
Penny: Ice cream?
Sheldon: I have been familiarizing myself with female emotional crises by studying the comic strip Cathy. When she’s upset she says ‘Ack!’ and eats ice cream.
Penny: Euhm… Ack!
Sheldon: If you were a cat I would have brought you a lasagna.

The rest of their conversation was just as funny! The two of them are so great!

Wil Wheaton and Sheldon are so awesome! You could make a show just about the two of them.

Lol:
Sheldon: Be the ball Howard!
Wolowitz: Leave me alone, Sheldon!
[Wolowitz rolls horribly]
Sheldon: You weren’t the ball.

Penny has just stormed off from the bowling place:
Wil Wheaton: Tuff luck Sheldon.
Sheldon: You did this, didn’t you?
Wil Wheaton: Do you really think I would break up a couple just to win a bowling match?
Sheldon: No I suppose not.
Wil Wheaton: Good! Keep thinking that!
Sheldon [in a scary voice]: Wheeatoon!

The whole thing with Penny and Leonard was really sad; I hope they get back together!

Awesome! Kodak moment!

Sheldon’s friends come to his aid when his fear of public speaking stands between him and a coveted award, on THE BIG BANG THEORY, Monday, March 22 (9:31-10:00 PM, ET/PT) on the CBS Television Network.

STORY BY: Chuck Lorre & Bill Prady & Steve Holland
TELEPLAY BY: Eric Kaplan & Richard Rosenstock & Jim Reynolds
DIRECTED BY: Mark Cendrowski

Hehe:
Koothrappali: Okay, in Avatar when they have sex on Pandora they hook up their ponytails; so we know that ponytails are like their junk.
Wolowitz: Yeah, so?
Koothrappali: So when they ride horses and fly around on birds they also use their ponytails.
Wolowitz: What’s your point?
Koothrappali: My point is, if I were a horse or a bird I’d be very nervous around James Cameron.
Sheldon: It amazes me how you constantly obsess over fictional details when there are more important things in the real world to worry about. For example; why wasn’t William Shatner in the new Star Trek movie?

The theme song is still catchy after three seasons and eighteen episodes, then it’s a good song!

Sheldon: Problem.
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: They expect me to give a speech at the banquet. I can’t give a speech.
Wolowitz: Well, no you’re mistaken; you give speeches all the time. What you can’t do is shut up.
Koothrappali: Yeah, before the movie you did twenty minutes on why guacamole turns brown. It turned brown while you were talking.
Sheldon: I am perfectly comfortable speaking to small groups; I cannot speak to large crowds.
Leonard: What to you is a large crowd?
Sheldon: Any group big enough to trample me to death. General rule of thumb is 26 adults or 70 children.

Later on:
Leonard: Sheldon, you are being ridiculous.
Sheldon: Am I? Let me tell you a story…
Wolowitz: Where are 70 children when you need them?

Haha:
Leonard: We think we can help you with your stage fright.
Sheldon: Oh, I doubt that. I haven’t figured out a way and I’m much smarter than all of you.

Naaw, I wonder if he consciously joked or it was accidental:
Penny: So, what do you say Sheldon? Are we your X-men?
Sheldon: No. The X-men were named for the X in Charles Xavier. Since I am Sheldon Cooper you will be my C-men.

Raj and Sheldon meditating was hilarious! Sheldon’s got quite the mind.

Best suit ever!

He looks so pretty!

Haha, even Sheldon’s dreams are odd:
Sheldon: Would it be helpful to you if I told you about my dreams?
Leonard: Uhm, I don’t know, maybe.
Sheldon: I recently had a dream that I was a giant but everything around me was to scale so it all looked normal.
Leonard: How did you know you were a giant if everything was to scale?
Sheldon: I was wearing size million in pants.

Love Sheldon making Leonard cry, hilarious!

Sheldon drunk… I am speechless! He wasn’t though! Hilarious!

Best was the morning after!

Sheldon: Penny, Leonard would you be able to answer some questions I’m having of the events of last night?
Penny: Sure.
Sheldon: Question one: Where are my pants?

The YouTube thing was great! Drunken Sheldon reminds me a lot of Dane Cook!

When the guys find a ring from “The Lord of the Rings” at a garage sale, it threatens to tear them apart, on THE BIG BANG THEORY, Monday, March 8 (9:31-10:00 PM, ET/PT) on the CBS Television Network.

GUEST STAR:
Venkatesh…………………………. Frank Maharajh

STORY BY: Lee Aronsohn & Eric Kaplan & Maria Ferrari
TELEPLAY BY: Bill Prady & Steven Molaro & Richard Rosenstock
DIRECTED BY: Mark Cendrowski

Lol:
Leonard: Why do I always have to carry the heavy stuff?
Sheldon: It’s very simple. In our ragtag band of scientists with nothing to lose I am the smart one, Wolowitz is the funny one and Koothrappali is the lovable foreigner who struggles to understand our ways and fails. That leaves you by default as the muscle.
Leonard: One more floor and I’d be the pulled muscle.
[They enter the apartment, where Penny is]
Penny: Oh, it is about time, I am starving!
Leonard: Well, we didn’t actually get Chinese food.
Penny: Why not?
Leonard: Don’t panic, this is better!
Penny: Oh, no, you didn’t trade the food for magic beans, did you?
Sheldon: Of course not and technically magic beans would be food. Although eating them would be quite a waste since you could plant them and overnight have a giant bean stock which would provide enough roughage for a small city.
Penny: Yeah, sometimes I don’t listen; sometimes I just watch your jaw go up and down.
Leonard: We were on our way to the Chinese restaurant when we thought we saw Adam West, so we followed him.
Penny: Who is Adam West?
Sheldon: What, who is Adam West? Leonard what do the two of you talk about after the coitus?
Wolowitz: My guess is: ‘hey four minutes, new record!‘ [Turns to Raj] That’s why I’m the funny one!

Alf! Alf is awesome!

So sad! Wolowitz finds an Alf puppet:
Wolowitz: Oh my god, an Alf doll! When I was eleven my mother got me one to help me sleep after my dad left! I used to pretend that my dad had moved to the planet Melmac and Alf was gonna bring him back to me. But he never did. Where is my daddy, puppet? Where is he?
Penny: That is so sad!
Sheldon: No, what’s sad is that you don’t know Adam West was TV’s Batman!

Haha, naaw:
Sheldon: Fascinating!
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: It appears to be a Lord of the Rings ring.
Koothrappali: It even got the Elvishian graving on it.
Sheldon: It’s not Elvish, it’s the language of Mordor written in Elvish script. One ring to rule them all.
Koothrappali: One ring to find them.
Wolowitz: One ring to bring them all.
Leonard: And in the darkness bind them.
Koothrappali: Holy crap we are nerdy!

Haha:
Koothrappali: Hold on, Sheldon is there ketchup on that table?
Sheldon: Yes, there is. Here’s a fun fact: ketchup started out as general term for sauce, typically made of mushrooms or fish brine with herbs and spices. Some popular early main ingredients included blueberry, anchovy, oyster, kidney bean and grape.
Koothrappali: No that’s okay, I’ll get it. [Get's up to get the bottle himself]

Funny, Wolowitz has looked up their new ring:
Wolowitz: Anyways, he said this isn’t a replica; it’s the real deal.
Sheldon: If you’re suggesting that is the actual ring of power, forged by Sauron in Mount Doom I look at you with an expression of exhaustion and ever so slight amusement.
Leonard: He is not saying it’s a magical ring. You’re not, are you?
Wolowitz: No, but its close. Look at the markings inside, those are production markings. Nine rings were made for use in the Lord of the Rings movies. Three were given to members of the cast, the rest were destroyed! Except one… one was stolen. Gentlemen, this is the one ring.
Sheldon: Mine!

One: how do they know this stuff? Hilarious! Two: Sheldon sounded exactly like the seagulls in Finding Nemo!

Their fighting was extraordinary! Raj and Wolowitz bickering and Sheldon and Leonard’s stare off and Sheldon stealing the ring were golden!

Haha:
Penny: Okay, just to be clear, the first piece of jewelry my boyfriend gives me is a prop from a movie and I don’t even get to keep it?
Wolowitz: If you had gone out with me three years ago, by now you’d have my great aunt Ida’s brooch that she smuggled out of occupied Belgium in a cat!
Leonard: How am I looking now?

Sheldon trying to steal the ring was awesome! Penny hitting him in the face and then his screaming! I laughed till my eyes watered!

Sheldon’s mind is so funny:
Wolowitz: How does it feel to get beaten up by a girl?
Sheldon: It’s not the first time. I have a twin sister who’s assaults began in utero. If I only had the presence of mind to absorb her, then I would have a mole with hair on it instead of a tedious yearly Christmas letter.

Raj’s lawyer/cousin thing was funny!

Lol:
Leonard: You want to talk about endless patience? Penny made me watch all five seasons of Sex and the city!
Koothrappali: There’s six seasons, dude.
Leonard: Oh crap!

Raj being mean while Wolowitz talks to his mom was hilarious.

Wolowitz, Raj and Sheldon trying to get each other to let go of the ring was awesome!

Sheldon as Gollum was scary!

So funny, Sheldon tries to take the ring from Leonard’s neck:
Sheldon: I knew it.
[Leonard wakes up]
Sheldon: Give us the precious!
Leonard: Neveeer!
[They start wrestling on the bed]
Sheldon: Give it to me!
Leonard: Get off of me!
Sheldon: Give me the ring!
Leonard: It’s mine!
[Penny leaves the bed]
Penny: Oh, I gotta go back to dating dumb guys from the gym…

This was an excellent episode! I am still laughing from when Penny hit Sheldon in the face! It was so unexpected!

Sheldon winds up in traffic court when he gets a ticket because of Penny, on THE BIG BANG THEORY, Monday, March 1 (9:31-10:00 PM, ET/PT) on the CBS Television Network.

Stan Lee Guest Stars as Himself.

GUEST STARS:

Stuart………………………………… Kevin Sussman
Stan Lee………………………………………. Himself
Judge Taylor…………………………. Steve Paymer
Guard……………………………….. Marcus Folmar

STORY BY: Chuck Lorre & Lee Aronsohn & Steven Molaro
TELEPLAY BY: Bill Prady & Steve Holland & Maria Ferrari
DIRECTED BY: Mark Cendrowski

Raj’s music shirt was brilliant, I want one! Everyday life could use more appropriate background music!

And who is Stan Lee?

Funny:
Sheldon: I have decided I am going to have Mr. Lee sign my copy of this month’s Batman.
Wolowitz: That’s crazy, Stan Lee has nothing to do with Batman.
Sheldon: Yes, which is why no one will ask him to sign one. And I’ll be the possessor of a unique all be it confusing artifact which will set me apart from the hoi palloi of comic book fandom.
Koothrappali: That’s a great idea! I’m gonna get him to sign a Batman as well!
Sheldon: What is it about the word unique you don’t understand?
Wolowitz: Ah, damn! Paper cut! Nothing worse than a paper cut.
Koothrappali: Well, obviously you don’t remember your circumcision.
Sheldon: There’s Neosporin and band aids in my top desk drawer.
Wolowitz: Why don’t you keep that stuff in the bathroom?
Leonard: He does; and in the kitchen, and in his car and in his pocket.
Sheldon: Yeah, but the once in my pocket are mine!

Leonard: Hey, guess who is going to be in the comic book store on Thursday?
Penny: Uhm, can you give me a hint?
Leonard: Stan Lee.
Penny: Uhm, Stanley… Stanley… Stanley Tucci?
Leonard: No, Stan Lee.
Penny: Oh, oh, Stan Lee, cool!
Leonard: You have no idea who he is, do you?
Penny: Of course I do! You are an important part of my life and I pay attention to the things you are interested in!
Leonard: Good, good! So who is Stan Lee?
Penny: Uhm, he was on Star Trek.
Leonard: Nope.
Penny: Star Wars?
Leonard: Nope.
Penny: Uhm, Stan Lee… Oh! He is in those goofy kung-fu movies you love so much!
Leonard: That’s Bruce Lee.
Penny: Oh, so is this Bruce Lee’s nerdy brother Stan?

Haha, Sheldon got a traffic ticket!

Love the conversation where they find out about it!
Sheldon: I am not guilty! I only have a learner’s permit, Penny was the teacher! When the light turned yellow she said go, go, go so I went, went, went!

The music shirt is growing on me after every use!

Haha:
Penny: Okay, let’s go!
Sheldon: Hold on, before we get to the court house I’d like to call on your skills as an actress.
[He hands her a paper]
Penny: What is this?
Sheldon: I have taken the liberty of scripting your appearance on the witness stand because let’s face it, you’re somewhat of a loose cannon. Now, don’t worry it’s written in your vernacular, shall we rehearse?
Penny: Do I have a choice?
Sheldon: Well, of course you have a choice. Although we live in a deterministic universe each individual has free will, now sit down!

The script was hilarious! It shows really well what Sheldon thinks of Penny.

Lol, not a great start for Sheldon in court:

The judge: Sheldon Cooper?
Sheldon: Good morning Your Honor. Dr. Sheldon Cooper, appearing pro se; that is to say representing himself.
The judge: I know what it means, I went to law school.
Sheldon: And yet you wound up in traffic court.

The judge: Guilty. Pay the cashier.
Sheldon: I object! You are completely ignoring the law!
The judge: No, I’m following the law, I am ignoring you.
Sheldon: Really? I would point out that I am at the top of my profession while you preside over the kiddy table of yours.
The judge: Dr. Cooper, before I find you in contempt and throw you in jail I am going to give you a chance to apologize for that last remark.
Sheldon: I am a scientist; I never apologize for the truth!
[Switch scene to Sheldon being behind bars]

Love Sheldon’s suit by the way! It’s awesome!

Raj’s list of Stan Lee names was funny! But poor Raj, he is being hacked on in the entire episode!

Sheldon yelling at Penny was priceless!

Stuart’s reaction to Penny was hilarious. Pretty ladies make nerds less intelligent.

Lol:
Stuart: Wait, maybe we can make a deal.
Penny: What kind of deal?
Stuart: I will give you the address if you go to my cousins wedding with me.
Penny: You’re extorting a date out of me?
Stuart: I kind of have to, the cousin who’s getting married is the cousin I usually go to weddings with.
Penny: Can I bring Leonard?
Stuart: Sure, why not, what the hell.
Penny: Deal.
Stuart: We’ll tell people he’s your cousin.

Haha, naaw:
Sheldon: This is Stan Lee’s front door… We were on Stan Lee’s curb, then we were on Stan Lee’s walk and now we are at Stan Lee’s front door…
Penny: Yep.
[Penny rings the door bell]
Sheldon: Oh, lord you just rang Stan Lee’s door bell…

Sheldon walking into Stan Lee’s house and Penny running away was so funny!

Leonard: Hey, where have you been?
Sheldon: I’ll tell you where I have been. You boys may have had gelato with Stan Lee and gotten autographed comics but I saw the inside of his house and gotten an autographed application for a restraining order.
Wolowitz: Sweet…
Sheldon: Plus, I get to hang out with him again; at the hearing. This is going to look great hanging next to my restraining order from Leonard Nimoy!

Leonard can only bring one guest on a trip to see CERN’s Large Hadron Collider (the world’s largest and highest energy particle accelerator) in Switzerland on Valentine’s Day, on THE BIG BANG THEORY, Monday, Feb. 8 (9:30-10:00 PM, ET/PT) on the CBS Television Network.

STORY BY: Chuck Lorre & Steven Molaro & Jim Reynolds
TELEPLAY BY: Lee Aronsohn & Richard Rosenstock & Maria Ferrari
DIRECTED BY: Mark Cendrowski

Howard and Bernadette are so cute! I really like this couple.

Leonard: Who’s miserable and alone?
Koothrappali: Me.
Leonard: Oh, I used to be like that, then I got a girlfriend!

It’s sad Raj being the only person in the group without a girlfriend. Sheldon then not being included as a “person”.

Love Sheldon’s logic on Valentines Day:
Sheldon: Given that Saint Valentine was a 3rd century Roman priest who was stoned and beheaded wouldn’t a more appropriate celebration of the evening be taking one steady gal to witness a brutal murder?

Leonard: Guess who the University is sending to Switzerland to attend a conference and see the CERN’s Super Collider on February 14th?!
Sheldon: Professor Norton, although god knows why, he hasn’t published anything, a note, since he won that Nobel Prize.
Leonard: Actually Professor Norton can’t make it; he threw his back out rock climbing.
Wolowitz: I heard he threw his back out climbing on his new girlfriend.
Koothrappali: The big boobed weather girl on channel 2?
Wolowitz: That’s the one!
Leonard: In any case; they’re asking me to fill in for him!
Sheldon: In Switzerland or with the big boobed weather girl?
Leonard: Switzerland. And I get to bring a guest!
[Everybody gets exited]
Sheldon: This is incredible! I’m so happy I’m not even going to question their judgment in picking you! I’m just gonna run home and start packing!

Leonard trying to make Penny guess where they are going for Valentine’s Day was funny! And Sheldon’s talk about the magic lamp was also funny!

This is so funny:
Leonard: Sheldon, we have been through this, I’m taking Penny.
Sheldon: Afraid not. Do you recognize this?
Leonard: Not the roommate agreement!
Sheldon: Indeed, the roommate agreement. I call your attention to the friendship writer in appendix C; feature commitments; number 7. In the event that one friend is ever invited to visit the Large Hadron Collider now under construction in Switzerland he shall invite the other friend to accompany him.
Leonard: For god’s sakes!
Penny: You actually put that in an agreement?
Leonard: Yeah, we also put in what happens if one of us wins a MacArthur grant or if one of us get’s super powers or if one of us has been bitten by a zombie!
Sheldon: He can’t kill me even if I turn.
Penny: Is there anything in there about if one of you get’s a girlfriend?
Sheldon: No, that seemed a little farfetched.
Leonard: Sheldon do you really expect to enforce this?
Sheldon: I’ve lived up to all of my commitments under the agreement! At least once a day I ask how you are, even do I simply don’t care. I no longer stage spontaneous biohazard drills after 10 pm. And I abandoned my goal to master tuban throat singing.
Penny: Okay, I know I shouldn’t ask but…
Leonard: Don’t
[Sheldon starts singing really creepily from his throat]
Sheldon: I’d be much further along if I’ve been allowed to practice.

Sheldon messing with Leonard was epic! Comparing him to Judas!

Sheldon and Penny are funny as usual:

In the laundry room:
Sheldon: Hello.
Penny: Hello.
Sheldon: Alright, let’s dispense of the friendly banter. I believe you know why I’m here.
Penny: Well, I always figured it was to study us, discover our weaknesses and report back to your alien overlords.

Sheldon and his PowerPoint presentation:
Sheldon: Here we have a highly gifted researcher in the field of particle physics whose work has brought him to the precipice forever changing mankind’s understanding of the Universe, a.k.a me. And here we have a waitress brushing her teeth with her finger, a.k.a you.
Penny: I’m sorry, is this suppose to be buttering me up?
Sheldon: Please hold all questions till the end of the presentation!

Naaw! How incredibly cute!

Penny says she shall speak to Leonard about letting Sheldon go instead:
Sheldon: Penny, thank you!
[Sheldon hugs Penny!]
Penny: You’re welcome.
Sheldon: Since I rarely hug, I’m relying on your expertise regarding duration.
Penny: I think we’re there.
Sheldon: Oh good! Bye, bye!

Leonard is being a real *insert bad word*! I don’t really like him right now.

They made Penny and Sheldon throw up! I do not need to hear that! Too gross for words!

Haha!
Sheldon realizes it is Penny’s hug that got him ill:
Sheldon: It’s you! I touched you!
Penny: Happy Valentines Day.

Sheldon’s search for the answer to a physics problem leads him to work at the Cheesecake Factory with Penny, on THE BIG BANG THEORY, Monday, Feb. 1 (9:31-10:00 PM, ET/PT) on the CBS Television Network.

GUEST STARS:
Bernadette…………………………… Melissa Rauch
Sandy……………………………….. Yeardley Smith
Glen……………………………………….. Kevin Brief

STORY BY: Lee Aronsohn & Dave Goetsch & Steve Holland
TELEPLAY BY: Chuck Lorre & Steven Molaro & Eric Kaplan
DIRECTED BY: Mark Cendrowski

Sheldon was scary while trying to view his work! Sheldon should star as the bad guy in a scary movie!

Haha, funny!
Observing Sheldon’s scary behavior then asking quietly:
Wolowitz: [to Leonard] Have you tried rebooting him?

The two couples went to roller disco, haha!

Walking back afterwards:

The girls’ conversation:
Bernadette: Oh my god, have you ever been so embarrassed
Penny: Not recently.
Bernadette: I don’t know which was lamer; their roller skating or their disco dancing…
Penny: For me the worst part was when people saw us leave with them.

The boys’ conversation:
Leonard: You had some nice moves out there Howard!
Wolowitz: Thanks! You two!
Leonard: Hey, did you notice other people looking at us?
Wolowitz: Not really, I was in my boogie zone!

Why are geniuses always crazy? All that is missing on Sheldon is the crazy hair!

Bernadette managed to get Sheldon to go to sleep! Good mommy!

Bernadette: Okay Sheldon, what happens to our neuroreceptors when we don’t get enough REM sleep?
Sheldon: They lose their sensitivity to serotonin and norepinephrine.
Bernadette: Which leads to…?
Sheldon: Impaired cognitive function.
Bernadette: Right. So march in there, brush your teeth and go to bed!
Sheldon: But I don’t wanna go to bed!
Bernadette: I’m gonna count to three! One…
Sheldon: Oh! Alright!
Leonard: That was amazing how you handled him!
Bernadette: I know how to deal with stubborn children. My mother used to run an illegal day care center in our basement.

Funny!
Leonard gets a call in the middle of the night:
Leonard: …Is he okay? Alright I’ll be right there. [hangs up]
Penny: What happened?
Leonard: Sheldon’s escaped and is terrorizing the village…

Sheldon and Leonard in the kid’s balls sea were hilarious! I couldn’t stop laughing! Genius!

And Sheldon waking Leonard and Penny up in the middle of the night just to tell them he is getting a job was incredibly funny!

The work lady:  So, Mr. Cooper, you are looking for a job?
Sheldon: A menial job. Like yours.
The work lady: Why thank you for noticing. I’m menial employee of the month. Do you have a particular field in mind?
Sheldon: I do! For thousands of years the lowest classes of the human race have spent their lives laboring to erect monuments under the lash of their betters until finally they droops down, become one with the dust through which they trudged. Do you have anything like that?
The work lady: No.

It is safe to say that the job lady will never have a weirder work encounter in her life!

The work lady: How about doing deliveries for a florist?
Sheldon: That seems acceptable.
The work lady: Do you have your own car?
Sheldon: I don’t drive.
The work lady: Of course you don’t.

Sheldon taking a job where Penny works was hilarious, he was being so mean to her without him ever noticing!

Penny: No wait, what are you doing here?
Sheldon: A reasonable question. I asked myself what is the most mind numbing, pedestrian job conceivable. And three answers came to mind. A tall booth attendant, apple store genius and what Penny does. Now! As I don’t like touching other peoples coins and I refuse to contribute to the devaluation of the word genius; here I am!
Penny: So you just walked in and they hired you? Just like that?
Sheldon: Oh! Heavens no! Since I don’t need to be paid I didn’t need to be hired! I simply came in, picked up a tray and started working for the man!

Sheldon has his breakthrough:
Penny: Hey, guys. Sorry you had to wait but we were swamped. [She realizes they have already been served] What’s this?
Leonard: Sheldon took our order.
Penny: Sheldon doesn’t work here!
Leonard: Well, honey. Not to complain but we were starting to think you didn’t neither.
[Sheldon drops a tray of dishes on the floor, people seated starts applauding]
Sheldon: Is that really necessary? [Sheldon looks at the broken plates on the floor] Good lord! The interference pattern in the fracture. The motion of the wave to the molecular structure. I have been looking at it all wrong! I can’t consider the electrons as particles! They move through the grapheme as a wave! IT’S A WAVE! The moment to applaud would be now! [Nobody claps] Troglodytes. [Starts walking away]
Penny: Sheldon! Where are you going? Aren’t you gonna clean this up?
Sheldon: I’m sorry, I don’t work here. [Walk's out]

Great, funny episode!